The guys are all screaming at ESPN.
None of them were jock-stars even back then.
Now they’re all beer bellies and muscle cars.
We gotta stop looking for men in bars.
Hey, bartender, three Chardonnays.
My friends and I came out to play.
You wonder why we’re in your bar tonight?
Well, everyone lies on those dating sites,
So we keep on looking,
Keep on looking,
We gotta keep on looking,
Because you just never know.
I know this preppie is insanely rich,
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go for his pitch.
Dump this drink he bought me ’cause I just saw
Him palm his wedding band in his other paw.
Hey, bartender, I can’t take anymore.
Mister-all-about-me’s an insufferable bore.
And this guy is gorgeous, the girls all agree,
But he’d rather be a mooch than get a J-O-B.
So we keep on looking,
Keep on looking,
We gotta keep on looking,
Because you just never know.
Even though this codger could be my Gramps,
He’d roofie me just to get in my pants
And Muscle Man here just made parole.
Bet he’s never seen a girl dance without a pole.
So we keep on looking,
Keep on looking,
We gotta keep on looking,
Because you just never know.
I found the cutest guy after all these pests,
He listens, and he doesn’t just stare at my breasts.
When he asked me to his place I was so glad,
Till I learned he’s still living with his Mom and Dad.
Sure, bartender, there’s the Internet,
But online you never know what you’ll get.
Our friend bragged about the time she saved,
But last week they found her in a shallow grave
So we keep on looking,
Keep on looking,
We gotta keep on looking,
Because you just never know.
So good-night, girlfriends,
Let’s go out again soon,
We always have fun,
Laughing in the Ladies room.
Music: Jack Casey, Words: Jack Casey & Victoria Wright
© 2016 Diamonds Big as Radishes, LLC. All rights reserved