Drink One Pretty

The girls are at the bar when I arrive.
I seen better asses on a cattle drive.
I ain’t looking for love, I ain’t naive,
Just want a little something I can love and leave.

Hey, bartender, gimme a beer.
We both know what I’m doing here.
Figured I’d stop, give it a whirl,
And maybe go home with an ugly girl —

I’m gonna drink one pretty, [Drink One Pretty!]
I’m gonna drink one pretty, [Drink One Pretty!]
I’m gonna drink one pretty so I don’t have to be alone.

Here’s a little pork chop in a leather skirt,
The lines on her face show a world of hurt.
How about the skinny cougar in the rhinestone crown?
Another lonely princess out on the town.

Hey, bartender, a tonic and gin
For this little queenie with the double chin,
And one for her friend who smells a little ripe
Just so they’ll know I’m the sensitive type.

I’m gonna drink one pretty, [Drink One Pretty!] * * *


Tonight’s selection is quite the batch.
They look like they got something I’m afraid I’ll catch.
Hey, over there, I think I found my star —
That blonde’s blowing kisses from the end of the bar,

So, set ‘em up, Smitty,
I’m going to drink her pretty. [Drink Her Pretty!]
I’ll get her purring like a kitty
And tonight I won’t be alone.

While I’m locking lips with Blondie, she slips me tongue,
And gropes beneath the bar to see how well I’m hung.
She says she wants to tango, but I’m feeling weird,
From that last kiss I think she’s got a beard.

Hey bartender, a double shot.
I thought I’s getting lucky, but I guess I’m not.
Last call already? That came way too fast.
I can’t believe I’m out of cash.

I’ll never drink one pretty. [Drink One Pretty!]
What a cryin’ pity,
In this cold hard city,
Another long night alone.

Words & music: Jack Casey
© 2016 Diamonds Big as Radishes, LLC. All rights reserved.